Beautiful Hands

God has called each and everyone of us to be His hands and feet in this earth. Yesterday I got to bless the hands of a beautiful Gogo in Dwaleni. The ladies name is Zodwa and yesterday was her birthday. I asked the ladies to speak out what they love and appreciate about her. Here are some of their words...

When I was getting tired of being the only one making sure that the center was clean, God sent me Zodwa.  She comes everyday and cleans the center and she cleans it with joy.

She loves the children and wants to see them have plenty to eat.

Her smile is full of love.

As these words were spoken over her, I could tell that her heart was being encouraged. I also heard the Holy Spirit say, "get where you can hold her hands, look her in the eyes and bless her."

As I took her hands and proceeded to speak life into her, the Holy Spirit took over. To be honest, I'm not really sure of all that I said, but I do remember talking about her hands and how God is using them to bless people....warning rabbit trail ahead!...Earlier, she had given me a shawl and a hat that she had made....In ONE day! The pictures can be seen on Facebook....I remember talking about how her hands blessed me so much and with those words the tears fell.

You see, Zodwa is old enough to remember the hard times of apartheid.  She is old enough to know that a white woman should never say that a black woman's hands had blessed her. She is old enough to remember and I am too stubborn to let racial divides happen.

As we held hands and tears fell, we were knit together in Him.

Colossians 2:2 Being knit together in love; to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ. 

IF....

Have you ever heard of an IF:Table? I hadn't heard of this until several weeks ago, when my dear friend, Nancy Purdy, introduced me to it. On Friday, 29, June, 2015, we had our first IF:Table here in South Africa and we knew that it would be something that we will continue to do with our hospitality team.

For those, like me, who are unfamiliar with an IF:Table, here is a simple explanation. An IF:Table is a time to break bread together according to Acts 2:46 "They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts." It's a time to fellowship and ask questions to get to know others

Today, I was struggling with what to bring at tea time in Mbonesweni. As clear as day I heard the Lord say, "Do an IF:Table." So an IF:Table it was. I headed to town to get some "bread" to break, which for tea time is translated lemon poppy seed muffins, double chocolate muffins, popcorn, chips and cold drinks. Normally, we only have this kind of thing for special occasions like birthdays, so they didn't know what was about to happen. Actually, I wasn't even ready for what was about to happen. 

I do want to set a stage for you. I have been working with these beautiful women for two years. For two years I've taught them to the best of my ability. For two years I've asked them to trust me. And after two years, there are still days when I walk away saying, "I just don't know or will they ever be truly transparent with me." Then today happened....

The first question was meant to be an easy answer that, honestly, I figured they'd give the answer they thought I would want to hear. That is not what happened! The first question was....

If you could invite anyone to this table, who would it be and why? I started with, "I would invite my daddy to come sit at this table because he has never seen me here and doing what I love." The answers that followed both broke my heart and made my heart smile all at the same time. 

"I would invite my mother who lives 15 hours away because she has never seen my home here." Me...."do you miss her greatly?" A simple "yes" was the answer. 

"I would invite my granny, who is in heaven, because she and I never got to sit at a table and just talk." "Why didn't you just sit and talk?" "Because we were just too busy." 

"I would invite my very best friend because she has a heart for Africa and I believe she would love this." 

"I would invite my father because I haven't seen him in over two years and I want him to see my son."

"I would invite my granny because I want her to see what I'm doing. She doesn't understand this life that God has called me to." How old is your granny? "She's 82." So, she grew up during apartheid and would never have shared a meal with a white person, right? "She has never shared a meal where white people and black people sat at the same table." 

"I would invite my children because we love to eat together and talk about our day."

Can you see and hear the reasons why my heart both broke and smiled at the same time?

God was feeding me the next question while we were in the midst of the first question and, to be completely honest, I was arguing with God. Are you sure about this question?! I don't they're ready for this question! Ever so gently, God said, "They're more ready than you know." 

If you could ask God any question what would it be? The questions came flying in....

"Why was I born poor?"

"Is my birth father, whom I've never met, saved?"

"Why do men here always beat their women?"

"Is my father, whom I only met once before he died, in heaven or hell?"

"Where can I find my success? I've looked everywhere but I can't find it."

"Why would a loving Father allow pain and suffering?"

"Is my birth father, whoever he is, saved?"

My question to the Lord, that I was asking in my head..."why, Lord, did you have me ask this question and then not have an answer." He gently reminded me, "you know the answer. Speak truth and allow the Holy Spirit to speak through you." 

I know that God never intended for their to be poverty, pain, and suffering. I know that it all began with a choice made by Adam and Eve. They believed the lie of the enemy that said God is holding out on you. People make choices and sometimes those choices hurt other people. One thing I know for sure is that God loves us. He sent his son, Jesus, because he loves us so much and truly wants the best for us. I know that God loves us. I KNOW that God loves us. 

For me, such sweetness surrounded that moment. They were open, they were honest and they were transparent and they were most definitely vulnerable. They want answers just like the rest of the world and God is trusting me to help them find those answers in him and be his hands and feet right here on this earth. 

As I was talking to a member of our team, Tom, he helped me to realize that it was the perfect day for an IF:Table because of where Mary is. Read yesterdays blog if you haven't already! Mary is in a tender, vulnerable spot and she shared it yesterday and put it all out there for all of us to know. She stood outside of shame and said this is what happened and I am finished. She told how he burned everything and she even asked us to go and get her medication because she was afraid to walk there alone. Tom helped me see that God was using the moment to take them deeper and that one day we'll look back and say, "this day, something changed. This day, something happened in the spirit that changed a community. On this day, Thursday, 11, June, 2015...on this day!"

***One last thing for you to rejoice over....Mary's child is now with her and the husband has not pursued her or him. Please continue to pray over Mary, her son, and all the women, men and children that are caught in the cycle of abuse.

Hanging Onto Hope!

**name has been changed**

Over the last week this is where I have been...hanging onto hope. 

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I head over to Mbonesweni, get out of the car, and begin a ritual that I love...hugging six beautiful women, telling them I love them, get to work chopping onions (they actually leave these for me), and listening to these same six women chatter away in Siswati. You can better believe that when one is missing, I KNOW IT!

Last Tuesday was no different. Got out of the car, hugs, kisses, I love you's, all said and knives grabbed and....wait...where is **Mary**? No one knows. Have any of you heard from her...no. Does anyone have her cell number? She doesn't have a phone right now. The question, "do you think she is okay," is met with, "we don't know." 

Those three words...we don't know...are the hardest words for me to hear and, I think, for them to say. You see, Mary, is in an abusive situation. It's actually not much difference here than in the states...I'll find you if you leave...I'll never do it again...you made me angry...you want to see your child, then you come home to me...I will never let you go, you deserve this...............

We were finally able to get a little bit of information...he beat her and she left and went to town on Monday, we haven't seen her since. Thursday rolled around and still no Mary, and still no word on where she was or if she was safe. Finally, Friday came and I got a call that said, "she has called her mom, she's safe and she's in Johannesburg. SAFE! Away from him! Please Lord continue to keep her safe!

Tuesday, this week. Same routine...get out of the car, WAIT! Not the same routine! She's here! She's back! I lean in to hug her and tell her, "I've missed you and been worried about you." She looks up at me and says, "I'm fine," but the smile that usually lights up her eyes is not there. I know that is probably all I'll get...for now.

We go about our work as if Mary has never missed a day. My first thought was, "she still doesn't trust us," but I knew that was not truth. She was just ashamed and trying to be strong. And then...we had finished tea time and Patchi was asking Mary if she was okay. There, see it? Right there...a break in the armor. Mary began to open up that he burned everything that was in the house...her blankets, mattresses, medication...she was left with nothing. He has also taken her son and will not allow her to have him unless she returns to him. 

Right there she started saying, "it's finished. I deserve better. I shouldn't have to always be running. He needs to understand, it's finished, but he doesn't. I am telling you, it's finished!" We asked if she was going to have to face him in order for it to be truly finished and she spoke words that have my heart torn. She said, "the elders from both families with meet." What does that even mean?! What if they decide that she must stay with him?! What if, what if, what if?! Brett just happened to be out there and we prayed protection over her and God's love and truth about who she is over her. As we prayed, she wept. As we prayed hope over her, she poured out her tears to God. 

Today, I am hanging onto hope for all the women, men and children that are battered and abused. Hope that they will find a way out before it is truly too late. Hope that they will realize that God never, ever intended for them to be someones punching bag. Hope that they will come to truly know who they are in Christ. Hope that they will begin to see their value in Christ. And yes, I'm even holding onto hope that these men will be introduced to Christ and that the Holy Spirit will change them from the inside out. 

Father, today we hold onto hope for your children that are in abusive situations. We ask that you give them knowledge that there is a way out. We ask that you help them understand that you never, ever meant for anyone to abuse another and that it is okay to leave when their life is in danger. We pray for the children that are being made pawns by the abuser. Father, cover their hearts and their hurts. Lord protect everyone involved in these situations. Set a hedge of protection around them. Give your angels charge over them. Fill these homes with your light and your love. Fill these homes with a supernatural peace. Holy Spirit bring hope and healing. In Jesus Name Amen