Memories

Memories can come from the most unexpected places...a song, a flower, the ocean, a picture, a certain type of food, etc. So many things in our life can evoke memories of the ones we love.

This morning Brett and I had one such moment. Brett is currently reading The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. As he was reading one particular section, he said, "you've got to hear this." So he began to read and I couldn't help but wonder if this man was talking about Lester B Robbins, better known as my granddaddy. Here's what he read...

Our family started attending Calvary Church when I was in the eighth grade. It was already a mega church with thousands of members, but my father-in-law had an amazing memory for names and faces. If he met you once, he would remember your name forever...granddaddy might not remember the name, but he would most likely know your face. Despite the size of the church, he never lost his shepherd's heart. He had a hospitable spirit that gave him an air of accessibility....yep, this is him. Maybe that's why my parents felt like they could call him at two in the morning after my doctor issued a code blue and half a dozen nurses came rushing into my hospital room in ICU. I thought I was taking my last breath.

My mom stayed by my side while my dad called information and got a home phone number for the Schmidgalls. In less than ten minutes, my future father-in-law was at my bedside in his black double-breasted superman suit that I would later swear he slept in....Oh.my.goodness! He is talking about granddaddy, who never went to pray for someone with out his suit on! Honestly, I started laughing so hard at this point, and Brett said, "just wait, it gets better."

My father-in-law was a large man with large hands. They looked more like meat hooks than hands..."he had hands the size of hams" is a direct quote from Leo Showfety, an army buddy of granddaddys. And when he prayed for people, his hands would envelope their head like a skullcap...can I get a witness from those that granddaddy prayed for?! When he laid his hands on my head, I remember thinking that there is no way God won't answer his prayer. He had a familiarity with God that was disarming. He had faith in God that was reassuring....and here is where the tears start. Yes, I do believe that he talking about my granddaddy. 

He could have called a staff member to make the visit. He didn't. He could have waited until morning. He didn't He settled for a short night's sleep on short notice to pray for a thirteen-year-old kid who was fighting for his life....I know there were plenty of late night calls for granddaddy to go pray for people. Little did he know that this thirteen-year-old kid would one day marry his daughter. Little did he know that this thirteen-year-old kid would one day give his his first grandchild, a colicky baby boy named Parker. There is no way he could have every known, but that is the glorious mystery of prayer.

Now my words...don't get me wrong, my granddaddy didn't walk on water, he had his faults, as every human being does. However, he loved the people that were put in his charge. My granddaddy had many stories that he used in his sermons about the goodness and mercy of God. Stories of survival in the war. Stories where God showed up and if it hadn't been for God showing up, I would have never known him. One day, I think I'll share that story with you. For now, just know that this story made me recall some wonderful memories of an amazing man of God that I am proud to call my granddaddy.

Sometimes Life Hurts

This morning at 5:20 AM my alarm sounded and a new day began. As always, I checked to see if any messages had come through and, sure enough, I had missed two phone calls. The calls I missed where from family members and I knew when I saw them that it wasn't news I wanted to hear. 

Yesterday, Piet Swart, a sweet, golf loving, big smile giving, laughing, curve ball throwing little boy, went to be with Jesus. He had battled cancer for just over 866 days or 1/2 of his too short life. 

I've never had to navigate the death of a child and I can not imagine how it's done. My prayers are with Jenn, his mommy, Pieter, his daddy, and Cameron, his big brother. That God will wrap His arms around their heartache and give them peace in the midst of trial. 

Life is fragile and sometimes it just hurts. In loving memory of Piet....

The Deep End...Emily Jewson

Emily Jewson is a 17 year old young lady that I met through the Zion Christian Church team from England. She wrote this on her arrival home and I just wanted to share. The "deep end" is not where God lets you drown, but it's where He swims with you into great adventures! Thanks Em!

I had made a lot of prejudgements of Africa before the trip and it looking a lot like The Lion King was one of them.

I would've happily stayed on the flight there a lot longer. I'm not sure if that's because the sunrise over Africa was so beautiful to look at or because I knew I would be completely leaving my comfort zone in my comfy bed, back home in Halesowen.

A long drive to the camp took us to a 'service station' in the middle of nowhere. At the time my Lion King idea was fairly accurate as we watched a load of Ostrich, Buffalo, Zebras and Rhinos gathered by a watering hole. The other half of the drive was a little surreal and the journey was made interesting by the views out the window. But oh how the contrast was immeasurable. Imagine one moment seeing what looked like a lively Vegas strip - casinos, clubs, hotels and even a Hooters. No more than 5 minutes later on the same side of the road seeing a couple hundred shacks all cramped together in a small space, completely lifeless.

As we stepped out the van and into the embrace of our new family at Ten Thousand Homes, us British were overwhelmed with how many hugs we were receiving. They welcomed us, for real. I knew I wasn't going to be in Africa by myself but I guess I never really imagined how much of afamily everyone was going to be.

God pushed me into the deep end on the very first day when me and a few others were going straight to do a home visit in a local community, and then to afterwards help at a feeding programme in a different community. Again I remembered how my comfort zone was in my bed, way back at home in Halesowen and how much I wanted to reunite with it. As soon as we got to the home, the 4 year old, son ran up to us and hugged our knees. As soon as we got out the trucks in the community we were subject to many hugs, hand holding and piggy backs. Although most of the children didn't understand or speak English, I found something so beautiful in loving on these children and just communicating through showing love instead of speaking it.

I've always found something really unnerving about hospitals and they scare me so much, so when the opportunity to visit one came along and I thought I might as well, God showed me that there was an even deeper end, and yeah he pushed me right in. Around 40 children on the ward all with different problems and severities. I felt like an absolute melon to start with, what do you say or do with a child that doesn't understand you and is in too much pain to play? You find yourself either high-fiving them or talking to them anyway, although they look at you funny.

We were all deeply moved by a 2/3 year old sitting in the corner sitting awkwardly on his bed. I've never seen a face so numb, we couldn't make him smile, talk or even look at us. The blanket on his back slipped down and our sympathy grew even deeper as we saw the large burns covering his back. The expression on his face changed from nothingness to an expression of pain. His face winced up with pain and our winced up with tears. We prayed and spent time comforting him and by the time we had to leave, he released a small smile. His name was Blessing.

1 Peter 2:9 says "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." The Day of Royalty was the day we devoted every inch of love we had in our bodies into the children's lives, by giving them the bestest most fun day ever! I walked with a little girl to take her to the bouncy castles and she stopped and turned to me and said "I love you white people". Our job was done as the little ones left the camp declaring that they were kings, queens, princes, princesses, special possessions and God's treasure.

After a 7am breakfast we were told that everyone on team was going to chip into building a temporary home for a girl who desperately needed it. I'd met the girl briefly on the first day I was there and she was so full of shame, her background was heart-breaking and her head remained fixed on the ground, it was a challenge to change her expression. In all honesty I wasn't excited at all because I didn't believe that building was my cup of tea and this was way out of my comfort zone. But at that moment God reminded me that my comfort zone was still in bed in Halesowen and I got to work digging for the cornerstone of her home. The degrees was in the thirties and shade was nowhere to be seen but everyone pitched in and the family spirit was still present within the team. Only a couple days later and the home was complete. Not only was there a home for this girl but you could see that there was a hope as well. Another one of my favourite moments was the girl and her friend dancing around in her new home with the biggest smile on her face and posing for photos. Never have I ever felt so overwhelmed with joy because of the joy I'd seen in someone else.

Although this is only some of my 'stand out' moments no one could've prepared the team for the things we'd see and the stories we'd hear and all my prejudgements of Africa soon disappeared as each day was a new adventure. God cast out any anxieties and worries I had and didn't just comfort me, but stretched me so that I'd never be the same again. I know now that when I step out into the unknown, I am reminded that its not unknown to God and he wouldn't put me there if there was not a blessing to be received. Lastly we spent one evening telling each person in the team what we saw and appreciated in them, I find that kind of thing very cringey so I just kept my head down. I'll never forget the first thing someone said about me was "Emily, you've been really brave on this trip". This touched me as I began to see all the times in the past I'd ran back and hid in my comfort zone missing out on opportunities... And then I saw how much God had blessed me and used me when I left the comfort zone at home and just trusted in Him.

Pray for Piet

Please pray for Piet and his mommy and daddy, Jen and Peter.  Life is fragile.

It has been a rough day.  Pieter had a CT scan last night.  It revealed that the neuroblastoma has grown since his scans on 8/28.  Diseased lymph nodes are blocking the blood circulation and nerve delivery to his gut...that is why it has shut down.

Lots of other mumbo jumbo going on...he is working hard to breathe, his heart is beating so fast to try and deliver oxygen throughout.  Fluids have leaked out of his blood vessels and are trapped in his soft tissue...his circulatory system is dry while the rest of his body is flooded.  The doctor keeps saying, "I am very worried about your boy."

We had used morphine over the last  several days, but today it was switched to continuous with the ability to add boost as often as every 10 minutes.  They are still working on finding the right level to manage his pain.

Tonight will be very telling what direction he is going...if he continues to worsen, we will be faced with making the decision of how much intervention to do to help him breathe.  A nasal cannula, chest tube, or incubate. 

At this rate we do not have enough time to wait for the research study recommendations.  We are going to assess in the morning if he can tolerate chemo. 

The hospice/palliative team is in place...we may be heading home tomorrow with their clinical support to make Pieter more comfortable.  I shared with a friend that we were asked if he needed a hospital bed at home...we should be choosing between a bunk bed or a trundle for future sleepovers with Pieter's friends.

Then There Was Joy!!

I knew the title of this blog before my feet even hit the floor this morning, what I didn't know was where I was going to see the joy. I assumed that it would be in Mbonisweni since that is where I spend Thursday morning. Barbara and Blue were going to teach the ladies to knit and I knew that would be joyful. That's not where the joy came. 

The joy came in the least expected place....Themba Hospital children's ward! There were two team members that had yet to experience the hospital and last night I "informed" Jeremy that I would NOT go back today to take them. His response was simple, "we'll make a plan." 

The morning came and we packed up the team and headed out to Mbon ready to cut veggies and knit. I still felt that these two guys should experience the hospital and we had a ton of people helping with cooking, so I called Kacy and asked about going to the hospital. There was a jump in my spirit as she answered the phone and she said, "sure, I don't care who goes." Something inside me knew it needed to be me, "is it ok with you if it's me?" Her answer was sure, "Yes, sometimes you need to just go back and see." 

I loaded up Andy and Julian, who hadn't been, and Luke and Clair, who were with me yesterday and off we went. The change in the atmosphere was apparent as soon as we walked into the hall! The hall was teaming with nurses, doctors, and parents! We worked our way down the hallways and into the rooms where we heard them call Malungo...white person...and Go Go!! They were looking at books that we had taken yesterday. They were laughing! The joy was tangible! 

We played peek-a-boo and great giggles erupted. Hand games were being taught and re-taught. Books were being read and pictures being shown and the joy just got greater and greater. 

Now to be completely honest, I think it was our joy that was increasing. The little boy that was in the car accident was still there but appeared to be in less pain and improving. The little burn victims were still there but they were feeling loved. The mom with the two year old was still there, but he had eaten two plates of food this morning and she was joyful and HOPEFUL!! Our joy was being filled up through their joy!

God knew that we needed to see it all again. God knew that we needed to see that His joy is ever present. Why else would there be two left that needed to go? God knew!

So, in ending...Life is still so very fragile but joy does come in the morning!

Life is...

...fragile.

I thought I understood this, however, I'm coming to a deeper understanding every.single.day.

Life is fragile.

This morning I took four amazing people, from England, to Themba Hospital. Luke, Emily, Claire, Lucy and I started out of our drive way with light hearts, ready to read to the children and to make them smile. We arrived at the hospital and headed up the stairs to the Children's ward. Usually when we arrive on the ward there are children in the hall ready to be hugged, kissed, loved, and, hopefully, get some sweets. Today, that was not the case.

Life is fragile.

Today there were thirty-one children on the ward and less than half of them had a parent with them. There were at least eight sweet babies with one of their legs tied to the foot of the bed because they had leg injuries. Three sweet young boys in a room marked "infectious", so they couldn't leave their room. One very scared two year was clinging to his mothers body, she was twenty and trying to get answers about his left lung which has not developed properly and so he struggles to breathe. "How are you", I asked. "Scared and needing answers. I don't like that I must leave him at 11:00 and can't come back until 1:00. I don't understand...he's only two." Next door, Emily said hello to one mother and she just started to cry. What do you do? You hug and you pray.

Life is fragile. 

I worked my way down the hall playing peek-a-boo and got very few smiles. Could it be that these children just needed mommy or daddy? I think so. I made my way into a room with a nine year old boy who had been the victim of a car accident. His mother stroking his little arm, him staring off into space, making sounds of pain. She was asked to leave as they were getting ready to work on him. No one was with him, so I stood by his side. As I reached out to touch him, his monitors started going off. I glanced up and saw that his heart rate was all over the place. It was fast and high and then it would slow down and be barely there. A nurse and a doctor came in and asked me to leave.

Life is fragile.

I have a cousin whose four year old son, Piet, has been battling neuroblastoma, a very aggressive childhood cancer. He has been put to sleep somewhere between 75-100 times. His little body is tired and having trouble rebounding from this last anesthesia. He has a urinary tract infection...E-coli. His feeding tube has stomach acid leaking out of it because his gut is not waking up. He is four...

Life is fragile.

Yes, life is fragile. It is so fragile that God sent His one and only Son to earth to walk through the exact same fragile that we face daily. He sent Jesus to bear stripes for our healing and hang on a cross for our sins. He sent Jesus, so that, when we have days that want to break us into, we can lean into Him and be wrapped up in His peace. A peace that is beyond understanding.

Emmanuel, God with us, has promised to never leave us or forsake us, even when life is fragile. 

Being Vulnerable...

...and the courage it takes! The definition of vulnerable, according to merriam-webster.com, is open to attack, harm, or damage. Being vulnerable about who you are and the story you have can be hard. It leaves you open and exposed to be attacked. You don't know if the person you're sharing with will be encouraged and touched by your story or if they'll try to cause you harm and attack you because of your story. 

Being vulnerable takes courage!

In order for someone to be vulnerable with us, we need to be willing to do several things. We need to be willing to love them no matter what they tell us. We need to be willing to walk in relationship with them for as long as it takes. We need to be willing to not judge them or their story.

Being vulnerable takes courage!

When someone tells you their story, it's personal because, well, it's theirs. They are the ones that lived it. They are the ones that feel the pain. They are the ones that feel the joy. They are the ones that feel the shame. They are the ones that felt loved or, most times, unloved.

Being vulnerable takes courage!

I want to tell you a story of a lady that I love and how, after a year working with her, she finally became vulnerable. To you it may seem small and insignificant, but to me...well let's just say, to me it's amazing!

REMEMBER! Being vulnerable takes courage!

I have been working with this sweet young woman, she's younger than me and I'll call her S, for just over a year. At the beginning of our relationship, S would welcome me, hug me, and that was pretty much it, except to ask, "When are you going to build me a house?" She would hardly ever stay still at tea time...checking the pots or cleaning or loving on a baby...and to be honest it frustrated me. I wanted her to hear what I had to say. It was important for her to be discipled, why couldn't she just stay still for 20 minutes?! Yes, these things crossed my mind. Remember, being vulnerable takes courage for all of us. But...

I began to really take notice of her and listen to her words. I began to look between the lines. I had a sneaky feeling that I knew what was going on, but I also knew that our relationship had not yet arrived at a place where I could ask her the question that was on my mind.

Being vulnerable takes courage!

In June, we started a Bible Study at 7:30 on Tuesday mornings that we wanted the ladies to attend, so that we could come together as Ten thousand Homes staff and Mbonisweni volunteers and get to know each other better. We were wanting it to be a time where stories and life could be shared as we walked through this study about community and God together. We printed books for everyone. We were excited! She came...one time.

Being vulnerable takes courage!

Every Wednesday I would say, "I missed you yesterday! I wish you would come and be a part of our Bible study, I love you and miss you when I don't get to see your smiling face!" She would just smile and say, "I was busy" or "so sorry, I couldn't be there." Remember, I was watching and I was listening. There was something that she wasn't telling me and I knew that whatever it was, it was wrapped in absolute shame.

Being vulnerable takes courage!

Finally, I knew it was time to ask the question that was burning in my heart. Finally, I knew we were at the place in our friendship...family...where I could be vulnerable with her. Finally, God opened a door that I could walk through. So!

We went out one day and sat under the tree in the church yard. Just S and I. Following is our conversation...

Me...can I ask you a very, very, very personal question?

S...yes, Wendy.

Me...I want you to know that this is not to embarrass you in any way, but it's something that I think I can help with.

S...I love you Wendy, you can ask me anything.

Me...S, can you read?

My heart is pounding now just as it was then. As she looked me straight in the eye, something she has never done, she said...

S...no, Wendy, I can't read or write. I want to learn! I want to learn to read and write English.

Me...S, thank you. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable with me. I'm not sure where to start, however, we will make a plan to start teaching you how to read and write. You are a smart woman and I know you can do it!

Now, sometimes, when people share something so deep and personal they shut down, especially in this culture. Was this what S would do? Would she shut down and pull away from me? The answer to that is a great big NO! S has continued to love me, confide in me AND she is even the one stressing that it's time for tea time to the other women.

Something changed with us that day. I was vulnerable in the asking and she was vulnerable in the answering and God moved. I believe that God has great plans for the women of Mbonisweni and am I am so excited that He has chosen me to be a part of it.

Being vulnerable takes courage! Are you ready to be courageous?

When God Hears...

...and ANSWERS prayers! November 13, 2013, I asked the women that volunteer at our Mbon feeding, what were their dreams for the feeding. They said, "we want to feed more than once a week and we want the children to receive help with their homework." The beautiful thing about this...they were dreaming for their community...not for themselves. 

After this party, Brett and I headed back to North Carolina for Thanksgiving and Christmas and I didn't get an opportunity to share with our community development team their dreams. 

Imagine my joy when, upon returning, we were at our first community development meeting and Carla said, "I want us to go to 2 feedings a week at Mbon and begin to tutor and disciple the children." My eyes filled with tears as I shared about the ladies dreams. God confirmed!

Today was the kickoff! We were expecting 80-100 children and 196 showed up. There were some rough spots and some things that will need to be tweaked, but overall it was great! 

We dreamed big dreams. We prayed big prayers and God answered in a big way!

I'm feeling blessed!

Have you ever tried to...

Get a few more minutes of snuggle time with your spouse before you have to hit the day running?

Take a bath in a freezing bathroom?

Take a bucket bath?

Use an outhouse?

Read your Bible at 6:00 in the morning...without coffee?

Sit through a four hour meeting without going to the bathroom? I couldn't do it either!

Learn to speak a foreign language?

Mix cake batter without a mixer?

Make coffee in a French Press?

Make homemade creamer?

Have a "disagreement" with your spouse, over something petty, while living in a community where there is always someone around? 

Shut the blinds so that you can cry without anyone seeing?

Drive a truck full of food to a feeding program?

Play leap frog with children that have absolutely no clue what you're doing, don't speak your language, and, once they catch on, giggle uncontrollably?

Tell a story about Jesus, using people, pretending to be flowers, birds, bears, rabbits, and monkeys?

Hug a child with a handicap and wish you could take it away?

See a plate of pap and beans and wonder why there isn't more?

Being a missionary?

Welcome to my day! 

Moments

Have you ever had a moment in your day that just took your breath away and led you to weep? One where words escape you? I had one such moment last night that I would like to share with you. 

On Wednesday's our base comes together for a time of worship and teaching and last night was no different. However, honestly, I wasn't in the mood to go. My attitude was "please, Lord, don't let it be a two hour mid-week service." I'm just being honest here. 

 

I walked into the room and, Swazi, one of our African brothers, started with, "if your attitude is bad, pray and ask God to change your attitude." BAM! Called out by God in front of an entire room full of people. To be honest, I probably wasn't the only one! The Lord checked my heart and I checked my heart and decided that, though I didn't feel great, I would enter into worship. 

Jeremy started and, let me tell you, the Presence of God was, well, present! We began to sing, you make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust. You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us. Wow! When you really listen to the words and realize that He took our tired, dusty, parched selves and He added some water until we were filled with the joy of Him and He makes us into new creations...Wow! At this point, you may be thinking that this was my moment...nope.

As worship came to a close, Lennon, another African brother, stood to teach. He didn't take a great deal of time. He spoke of Jesus and the washing of the disciples feet. Humbling Himself, he washed away the dirt and grime from their feet, but I believe He was also washing away much more than they could ever know. Then Lennon did what I knew He was going to do, he invited us to humble ourselves and wash one anothers feet. 

No one hesitated. People were getting to their feet and immediately asking others "can I wash your feet?" We were eager to wash away the dirt and grime of others days. We were eager to humble ourselves and pray for others and be an example to the young people in the room. The thing is...the young people became my moment. 

You see, the young daughter of our leaders, asked one of the little guys on our base could she wash his feet. Christian is only three and Emma is 10. As Christian tried to sit on the chair and put his feet in the water, you could see on his face that he knew this was something real. Usually quite full of himself and silly, in this moment he was serious. His little tongue stuck out to one side in concentration, fully focused on what Emma was doing. Emma, with head bowed over his little feet, washing away the dirt and the grime, praying over her little friend. There was such a moment of pure innocence that my heart broke inside of me. When the entire moment started, I wanted to take a picture, but God said, "no, just watch." As I watched this exchange, my heart began to weep. Such pure innocence in action, Jesus in action. 

This moment, released a fresh anointing into the air. The little children came to Him and He didn't turn them away, but used them to refresh a heart that had begun to feel that such pure, simple innocence was forever gone from this earth. 

God bless the children for they are the future.

A Fine Line

Getting out of the car, I see their faces and watch as they begin to walk the fine line between trying to sell you their wares and not begging you to buy. I listen as they call out and say, "mama, I make you a good price." What I hear, however, is something entirely different. What I hear is, "mama, do you see me? Do you see that this is the way I feed my child and support my family? Mama, I have a story, do you want to know?" This all takes place in a matter of seconds. It's in the final seconeds that I see the line being drawn. Do I continue to try and sell this to feed my family or do I look away with a look that says, "oh well, someone else will come along?"

Honestly, I haven't thought of those ladies since I left their stalls by the waterfall, at least not until this morning. You see, I've found myself in that same place lately. Asking, "do you see me? Have you forgotten all about me? Remember the promise you made? I have a story, do you want to know it?" Walking that fine line between not begging for support and trying to sell you my wares. 

My wares are not tangible trinkets that can be looked at, admired, and taken home to show people I went to Africa. My wares are of the spiritual kind, the kind you can't see with your natural eyes. My wares are teaching tea time to eight beautiful and amazing ladies whose lives are being changed. My wares are standing by the bedside of a child clearly stricken with Aids and TB, getting down on his level, touching his face and saying, "nbubani ligama lakho (what is your name)?" My wares are chasing children down the hall of the hospital trying to brighten their days just a little bit. My wares are touching a mama, whose child is in the hospital, and saying, "can I pray for you?" My wares are handing a plate of food to a tiny little body and praying as I hand it to her, "God protect this small one. Heal her body." My wares are singing, dancing, and telling stories to hundreds of children each week. 

This morning God gave a fresh perspective on the ladies at the waterfall and in the process broke my heart for them. They will no longer be just women selling their wares. I will see them. I will hear them. I will understand that just because I may never know their story, doesn't mean that they don't have one. 

He also reminded me that, though others may not see me and the wares that I sell, He does. Though others may not understand the intangible aspect of my wares, He does. He sees me. He hasn't forgotten about me. He keeps His promises to me and, most importantly, He knows my story and He loves me.

Psalm 37:25- I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or theri children begging bread. They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed.

One last note...thank you to @HighRockWest! You have seen us. You have not forgotten about us. You have adopted us into your family and for that we are truly thankful and blessed!

If you wish to give, please click on the link below. Your donations are tax deductable. Thank you!

http://goo.gl/Ec

 

Only to His disciples...

In my study on faith, I've realized that the very people who walked with Jesus, were also the only the ones Jesus said had little faith. The very guys who were with Him ALL THE TIME, were also the ones who doubted the most. Following are those scriptures where Jesus was speaking to the disciples and used the words "O you of little faith" and what was happening when He spoke these words. 

We start with Matthew 6:25-29 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. Jesus is saying don't worry. In vs 30 He tells us why we shouldn't worry and then...

Matthew 6:30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? This is the first scripture where He tells them they have little faith. It doesn't take much faith to follow the law, however, it takes great faith to follow Jesus. At this point, the disciples were following Him, however, I don't think they really knew exactly Who they were following. I can say this based on Matthew 8:27, but I'll get to that later!

Other translations of O you of little faith are...

CEB...you people of weak faith

CJB...what little trust you have

CEV...why do you have such little faith

ERV...your faith is so small

EXB...don't have so little faith [or how little faith you have; you of little faith]

Next we have Matthew 8:23-25 Then He got into the boat and His disciples followed Him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke Him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" There's so much that can preach in this scripture! Without warning, a furious storm came up...how many times have we been caught up in a furious, out of nowhere, storm? Jesus was sleeping...sleeping in the midst of a furious, out of nowhere storm! How?! I believe it's because He knew His Father and knew that He could trust the Father.

Matthew 8:26 He replied, "you of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. 

Now, here's where I can prove that the disciples were following Jesus but not exactly sure of Who they were following...vs 27 The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves, obey Him!" They were drawn to Jesus, however, they didn't trust Him yet. They didn't know exactly Who He was so they couldn't fully trust Him. Hmmmmm sound familiar? If we don't truly know the character of God, we won't trust Him. If we don't truly know the character of Jesus, we won't trust Him. If we don't truly know the character of the Holy Spirit, we won't trust Him. If we don't trust, then our faith is small and weak. However, when we begin to understand the character and can trust, then our faith grows great. 

Next we have Peter walking on the water. Matthew 14:28-30"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" 

Matthew 14:31 Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. "You of little faith," He said, "why did you doubt?" I must admit that when Jesus says Peter has little faith, I get a little upset. At least Peter got out of the boat! I do get it though that Jesus was telling Peter that if he had not doubted, he could have continued to walk on the water. Don't know about you, but I also believe that Jesus was probably laughing a bit at Peter when He told him he had little faith. I think Jesus gave Peter props for at least trying, but Matthew missed that part. 

Next is the discussion about the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees in Matthew 16:5-7 When they went across the lake, the disciples forgot to take bread. "Be careful," Jesus said to them. "Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees." They discussed this among themselves and said, "It is because we didn't bring any bread." Jesus was warning them against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees and they didn't understand. 

Matthew 16:8 Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, "You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread?" Jesus was still trying to teach them truth, execpt they still didn't understand Who He was. The Pharisees and Sadducees were still completely hung up in the law and Jesus was trying to show the disciples that love and grace were greater than the law could ever be. 

Matthew 17:14-19 When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. "Lord, have mercy on my son," he said. "He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him." "O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me." Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment. Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, "Why couldn't we drive it out?" Jesus seems pretty put out with the disciples at this point. They've seen Jesus cast out demons, walk on water, heal the sick and yet their faith is still small.

Matthew 17:20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard see, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Have you ever seen a mustard see? It's tiny! Jesus was telling them all they needed to do was learn to trust Him a tiny bit. 

Somewhere between Matthew 6:30 and Acts 1 the disciples faith grew. This gives me great hope! I believe that these stories are in the Bible for our benefit. They tell us that the great men of the New Testament, the ones who were always with Jesus, struggled in their faith and yet, after Jesus left to go sit at the right hand of the Father, these were the very men that carried the Gospel to the earth. Great faith comes when we know Who Jesus is. It may have taken awhile for the disciples to learn, but learn they did and then nothing could stop them.

Your thoughts, as always, are welcome!

Should you wish to support Brett and I on journey in South Africa, please go to www.worldoutreach.org and follow the prompts. Thank you!

Loss, Celebration, and New Life

I woke up with that feeling of heaviness already on my heart. It was confirmed when I opened Facebook and found out that a friend of mine had lost her baby. The post was simple and sweet...Millie Anna passed away this afternoon. It was peaceful, she was in Keri's arms when she passed. Our hearts are broken, but we know we'll see our baby girl again someday...as tears filled my eyes, I felt my heart break. It broke for the family that would never see baby Millie grow up. It broke because I just didn't understand, I don't think I ever will. Loss...it's a part of our daily lives and yet understanding it is not something that is easy to do.

I walked down to my truck to leave for a Bible study and immediately the enemy started speaking to my mind. As you all know, I was expecting my third grand baby anytime now. I started hearing words like...what if this happens to Michael and Laura, you can't get home fast enough, there would be no family to surround you or them...but right in the midst of these thoughts, the Holy Spirit broke in and said, "worship." One word, "worship." So, I did! Through tears of sorrow and pain, I worshiped to the following song...

 Who compares to You, who set the stars in their place

You who calmed the raging seas, that came crashing over me

Who compares to You, You who brings the morning light

The hope of all the earth, is rest assured in Your great love

You are magnificent eternally

Wonderful, glorious, Jesus

No one ever will compare

To You Jesus

In the very midst of my grief, The Lord reminded me that He hung the stars. He commands the winds and the waves. He is magnificent.

When I arrived at the Bible study, my heart was settled. God had this, and all would be well. About half-way through Bible study, my phone buzzed. Four simple words showed on the screen...Hey. Here we go...It was time for baby Amos to make his apprearance into this world. Grand baby number three! Ok...focus! You're in Bible study! 

Carla asked if anyone had felt a spiritual battle happen in their lives. I shared that mine had been just that morning and how God had moved in with peace. The word says pull down imaginations. The pulling down of imaginations is my job, and when I do that, He can move in with such amazing peace. He also reminded me that, though I'm not with my family at home, I am surrounded by my family here. This was punctuated by a sweet little hug from an almost 2 year old. This sweet baby reached for me, and then just snuggled against my neck with the best little baby hug. God works in mysterious ways and He works through sweet baby hugs!

In the midst of all that was going on, we also had a Welcome Home Celebration for our home on base. Brett has been working so hard to get us back into a place and settled, so that, we can stop living out of totes.

First we were blessed with the toast from Carla's favorite movie, It's a Wonderful Life...Bread–that this house may never know hunger. Salt–that life may always have flavor. Wine–that joy and prosperity may reign forever.

Next, we had communion with about 30 people in our new home. It was a beautiful moment shared with my family from around the world. To quote Kacy, "it's so peaceful." Yep, she made me cry!

After this, we celebrated the way we celebrate all Welcome Home parties...we danced! If you want to see a quick glimpse of Brett dancing, go to my Facebook wall, it's worth the thirty seconds!

When the party was over and everyone needed to get back to work, I headed out with Kacy to do a home visit. This home visit was super special to me. Gracious, a volunteer in Mbonisweni, has not been able to come lately because she was in a taxi accident that caused her some blindness. They have done surgery on one eye and the other eye will be done next month. However, her 13 year old daughter, Rivoniago, comes every Wednesday and says, "Gogo, when can you come to my house?" Every week we have a team, so I've had to tell her no. Finally! I was able to say, "I'm coming!" We had a great time visiting with Gracious, Rivoniago, and Praise!

We learned that Gracious has raised her children with love, respect and an ability to dream! Rivoniago wants to be a weather person and Praise wants to be a policeman. Gracious just wants them to have more and better than she had. It was beautiful!

Kacy caught this beautiful moment on camera and I'm so thankful! Using some of my Gogo/Bubbie love on Rivoniago!

Now, I know what you're thinking...there can't possibly be anymore to her day! WRONG! We got back to base and CityMark blessed us with dinner. You remember way back at the top when I said Michael and Laura were on their way? Well, all during dinner the question was, "any news?" The reply was, "no!"

Finally, at 6:44 South African time, we got the message that Amos Michael Roseman had entered into this beautiful world. Brett and I had a moment of prayer over this new little life and then I headed out with the news. Family here rejoiced just like my family would rejoice at home. There was shouting, dancing, prayers and tears. 

Amos Michael Roseman

Our days on the earth will always be filled with sorrow, celebration, and new life. Yesterday I was reminded that God is with us in the sorrow. God is with us in celebration. God is with us in new life. 

God is always with us!

A Knight's Tale: Knighting Scene (with subtitles)

The above clip is from the movie A Knight's Tale, starring the late Heath Ledger. The story line is simple...common man, William Thatcher, wants to be a knight, which is not allowed, because only those of noble birth can become knights. The knight that he is a squire for dies and he takes his place. From that point on, he competes as Sir Ulrich von Liechtenstein until an enemy finds out who he truly is and has him arrested.



Brett and I have enjoyed watching this movie over the years and, on occasion, find ourselves quoting it. Not too long ago, we were doing just that, and this scene popped into my head. At this point, because he has been pretending to be of noble birth, he's arrested and put in the stocks. However, Prince Edward, who he showed mercy to earlier in the film, shows up and that's when the above scene takes place.



Starting at 2:20, the Prince begins his speech. "He may appear to be of humble origins, but my personal historians have discovered that he is descendant of an ancient royal line. This is my word, and as such, is beyond contestation."



As I thought of those words, the Holy Spirit spoke very clearly to my heart, "those very words apply to you as well, only they have been spoken by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! The Word of the Lord is that you are His. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are righteous. You are healed. You are full of faith. You are all that His word says you are, and, as such, is beyond contestation!"



My word to you today is this...people told William Thatcher who he was. They told him "you can never change your stars." You can never be a knight, you're just a commoner. BUT! When the Prince comes in and tells him who he is, His world changes! The enemy will try to tell you who you are, please don't listen! The King of Kings has told you in His word who you are and, as such, IT IS BEYOND CONTESTATION!!

Trees, Seasons, and Being Rooted

When I was a little girl, we lived on the corner, in a little town called Granite Quarry, North Carolina. We had one tree in our front yard...actually it was the only tree in the whole yard! I loved this tree. It was easy to climb, a great place to sit and read, and, simply put, it was "my tree." 

When I was in my twenties, married, and no longer living at home, dad decided that the tree needed to come down. Even though the tree was dying and a limb could have easily fallen on the house, I was devasted. "This is my tree, how could we just cut down?!" Yes, I was married and in my twenties and yet...I cried.

Picture a giant oak tree and the way it looks in all it's seasons...full, green, and shady in the summer. Bright red, yellow and orange leaves in the fall. Giant, stark against a gray, cold winter day. Full of buds in spring...every season may be different, but the tree still holds an amazing beauty.

Kruger Park has become a sanctuary for me when I've had a rough week. Saturday, as I drove through for some much needed Jesus time, The Lord started speaking to me about trees, seasons, and being rooted. You see, there's one tree that, no matter what day I go, or what time I drive past it, I always take it's picture. This time when I took it's picture, I felt like the Holy Spirit was beginning to speak to my heart. As I drove on, looking for the elusive animals of the park, I just couldn't keep my mind from the tree nor my eyes from looking at other trees. 

                                                        This is "the tree."

Trees just seemed to literally stand out to me yesterday. I would be driving and suddenly stop to take a picture of a tree. This can cause quite a commotion in Kruger, if you have someone following you! Many times I had to flag people on, only to tell them "no animal, just taking a picture of that tree." Yes...my day was full of funny looks! People just don't understand...

The next tree that caught my eye, wasn't pretty at all, but as I looked at it, I realized that I felt the way it looked...BARREN...

I felt like every thing that makes me beautiful and makes me who I am had been shaken and ripped from me. I had a day where I just didn't feel like I could say anything right to anybody. I had a day where I just couldn't wrap my head around what I was being asked to do. I had a day that someone said "I played favorites." All of these days added up to me feeling shaken and unsure of who I am. While I sat looking at this tree and telling God, "I feel exactly like this tree looks," I could feel the Holy Spirit start to speak. "Yes, it's barren, but it's just a season. A season like what you're facing." My response, "I don't think I like where this conversation is going." "I know," He said, "but trust Me, it's going to be good. Drive on."

So, I drove...

As I drove, the Holy Spirit began to remind me of some things about trees, seasons, and being rooted. In the fall of the year, leaves are at their most beautiful point...RIGHT.BEFORE.THEY.DIE Now, that sounds a little ominous, but think of it this way...we want to be more like Christ, but in order to do that we must die to our old selves. Christ begins to work on some areas that might be giving us some trouble in our growth to be like Him. If the leaves stayed on the tree forever, there would be no room for new growth. When we're not faced with challenges and trials, there's no room for new growth. 

                                                             It's just a season!

Winter is when the tree "looks" barren, when, in actuality, all that's going on is the opportunity for growth. Yes, it feels like you're as barren as the day is long, but hold on, God is working! At least I know He's working on me. I want there to be new growth. I want there to be change. Doesn't mean I like the winter season, however, I'm beginning to see the beauty in it...at least I am after yesterday. 

                                                             It's just a season!

Spring! This is the time that everything just seems to pop and sizzle with new life! One day you may look out your window and all you see is the barren tree. The next...WHAM...the tree is alive and bursting with new life!! This is that place where you realize that the challenges and the trials may come but you've learned to have faith that God is going to help you through. This is the that place where you come out of feeling barren and start to realize you are new! Your responses are different, your thought life is different. You are different and full of new life!

                                                               It's just a season!                                      

Remember that giant oak from earlier? Summer is when people can sit in it's shade and feel the breeze blow through on a hot summer's day. Summer time is when you're finally in full and ultimate capacity of who you are and what your purpose is. You are complete and people can benefit from you and you can help them understand their winters. 

                                                               It's just a season!

Now...being rooted...

The last stop on this journey was a place called Lake Panic Hide. It's quiet and the perfect place for the rest of this conversation. It was at this place, where hippos were playing and fish eagles were "singing," that the Holy Spirit reminded me of...

Psalm 1:1-3 Blessed happy, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly following their advice, their plans and purposes, nor stands submissive and inactive in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down to relax and rest where the scornful and the mockers gather. But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God he habitually meditates ponders and studies by day and by night. And he shall be like a tree firmly planted and tended by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper and come to maturity. AMP

Isaiah 61:3 To grant consolation and joy to those who mourn in Zion—to give them an ornament a garland or diadem of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment expressive of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit—that they may be called oaks of righteousness lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. AMP

Colossians 2:7 Have the roots of your being firmly and deeply planted in Him, fixed and founded in Him, being continually built up in Him, becoming increasingly more confirmed and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and abounding and overflowing in it with thanksgiving. AMP

No matter the season, I am firmly rooted and grounded in the King of Kings!

Habakkuk 2:4...

"See, he is puffed up; his desires are not upright––but the righteous will live by his faith." 

This section is taken from my study Bible. For years I've struggled with this Bible because it has so much information in it. It actually overwhelmed me to read it. I would get distracted by all the extra information. Now, though, I'm learning to appreciate it! 

Habakkuk is a prophet during the "death throes" of the nation of Judah. Repeatedly called to repentance, they stubbornly refuse to change their sinful ways. Habakkuk, knowing the hard-heartedness of his fellow countrymen, goes to God and asks how long this intolerable condition can continue, God replies that the Babylonians will be His chastening rod upon Judah. This announcement took Habakkuk to his knees, because the Babylonians were more corrupt and sinful than Judah. Even in the midst of this The Lord gives Habakkuk the words "See, he (the enemy) is puffed up; his desires are not upright––but the righteous will live by HIS FAITH." 

The circumstances of life sometimes appear to contradict God's revelation concerning His power and purposes. Habakkuk struggles in his faith when he sees men flagrantly violate God's law and distort justice on every level, without fear of divine intervention. He wants to know why God allows this growing iniquity to go unpunished...do you ever feel this way when you see bad people getting their way and prospering when you're stuggling to make ends meet? Honestly, sometimes, I do...When God reveals His intention to use Babylon as His rod of judgment, Habakkuk is even more troubled, because that nation is more corrupt than Judah. God's answer satisfies Habakkuk that he can trust Him even in the worst of circumstances because of His matchless widsom, goodness, and power. God's plan is perfect, and nothing is big enough to stand in the way of its ultimate fulfillment. In spite of appearances to the contrary, God is still on the throne as The Lord of history and the Ruler of the nations. God may be slow to wrath, but all iniquity will be punished eventually. He is the worthiest object of faith, and the righteous man will trust in Him at all times. 

Now my words...

The righteous (just) will live by his faith. Words of comfort! I may not understand what is happening around me, but, God honors my living by faith. A thought...did you notice that the scripture says, "by his faith?" It doesn't say by God's faith. God doesn't need faith...HE'S GOD! We've each been given a measure of faith...use it!

Other translations of this are...

Common English Bible...but the righteous person will live honestly...personally, I don't think this is a proper translation. Honestly and faith are, to me, two entirely different things. According to Websters, honestly means to do things in an a genuine way, no lying. Faith on the other hand means to trust in someone. Your thoughts?

Common Jewish Bible...but the righteous will attain life through trusting faithfulness...now this one I like! Through faithful trusting in God, the righteous will attain life! 

Easy to Read Version...but those who are good will live because they believe it...not sure about this one either. There is a difference between righteous and good. You can be a good person and have zero relationship with God. You are righteous because you have a relationship with Jesus. There is a difference.

Good News Translation...but those who are righteous will live because they are faithful to God.

Message...but the person in right standing before God through loyal and steady believing is fully alive, really alive...When we are in relationship with Jesus, we are in right standing with God. Faith is being steady in our believing. I like this one!

Cross References...

I'm learning to love looking at the cross references! 

Romans 1:17 For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed––a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written; "The righteous will live by faith."

Galatians 3:11 Clearly no one who relies on the law is justified before God, because "the righteous will live by faith." I'm going on a rabbit trail for just a moment....we will never be justified by keeping the Ten Commandments. You can read all through Romans and Galatians that the law will in no way justify us. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Noah, Moses...these men were not justified by the law. They were justified by their faith in what God told them to do and then doing it. End rabbit trail!

Hebrews 10:38 "But My righteousness one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with Him."

Romans 9:30 What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith...Another rabbit trail...the Gentiles, us, were never subject to the law. They becaume righteous by their faith in Jeus. Praise God! We are not held to the law, but to our faith in our Redeemer! End rabbit trail #2!

Romans 3:22 This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile.

Romans 4:5 However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness...Being a missionary, this one is near and dear to my heart. My faith is credited as righteousness...the same words are spoken about Abraham. WooHoo!!

Romans 4:13 It was not through the law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith...Yep! Again, through faith, not the law.

Romans 10:6 But the righteousness that is by faith says: "Do no say in your heart, 'Who will ascend into heaven?'

Galatians 2:16 Know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jeus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified.

Philippians 3:9 And be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ––the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.

Hebrews 11:17 By faith, Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that is in keeping with faith...I've read this scripture many times, as I assume you have, and this time something else I've never noticed caught my eye. The scripture says...by faith he (Noah) condemned the world. It does not say that God condemned the world. Am I the only one that goes hmmmmm at this? Noah, by his faith, condemned the world to die in a great flood. So many questions here! Would the world still have been flooded if Noah had had no faith? How did Noah have such great faith? Was it from his father? Did the stories, told through the generations, about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and their faith, build Noah's faith? So many questions!!!

Genesis 6:9 This is the account of Noah and his family. Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with God. 

I want to leave you with one more thought from my study Bible...Habaqquq (Hebrew spelling of Habakkuk) is an unusual Hebrew name derived from the verb habaq, "embrace." Thus his name probably means "One Who Embraces" or "Clings." At the end of his book this name becomes appropriate because Habakkuk chooses to cling firmly to God regarless of what happens to his nation...Habakkuk is a great example for us today. No matter what happens in our family, neighborhood, city, county, state, nation or around the world, we can have faith in our Great Redeemer to always be on our side and walk with us through the fiery trials of life. 

Faith

The Lord has me in a word study...something new for me...on the word FAITH. Faith in God, faith in men, God's faithfulness, men's faithfulness to God, etc. I would love for you to join me on the adventure through God's Word and, if you have anything to add, please do! I would love for us to have a healthy discussion about what it is to have FAITH. 

According to Strong's Concordance, the very first mention of the word FAITH is in Deuteronomy. This is where we'll begin. 

Deuteronomy 32:20 "I will hide My face from them," He said, "and see what their end will be; for they are a perverse generation, children who have no faith. 

Here, God is speaking about the children of Israel. God had continually shown Himself real...parting the Red Sea, drowning the Egyptians, manna and quail in the desert, walls falling in Jericho...and yet His children just couldn't find it in them to trust Him. Anytime things got a little rough, they went back to grumbling and complaining, idols, and false Gods. 

Have you ever found yourself in this boat? God brings you out of something and, even though you know it was God, the next issue comes along and suddenly you're wringing your hands, asking others for advice, complaining that God's never done anything for me, blah, blah, blah! I used to get so frustrated with the children of Israel! They SAW, with their own eyes, and they still couldn't have faith. I did this until I realized that I, often, do the same thing. I believe this is exactly the reason that God has me doing this study. That through reading about others, both good and bad, I can learn to have a deeper trust in God and to stir up my faith. My prayer is that it helps you too!

Onward! According to Strong's Concordance, the meaning of the word faith here is also trust or believe. When God was saying "children who have no faith," He was saying "they don't trust me." How hard is it on you, as a parent, to think about your children not trusting you? God, our Father, wanted only good for His children, but they didn't trust that goodness. Why? Was it because He didn't snap His fingers and say "it's done?" Was it because the children had to go through some hardships to make them stronger and they didn't want to? Was it because they had to go through the fire? Why is a very strong question to ask. So ask yourself today...why don't I trust God? After you ask the question, LISTEN. Listen to His answer to you. He wants to reveal Himself very real to you, so that, you and I, can trust Him further!

Below are some different translations on the very end of the verse...children who have no faith. 

American Standard...children in whom is no faithfulness

Common English Bible...they are children lacking loyalty...OUCH! They have no loyalty...in other words they went back to their idols and false gods. They went back to what was familiar and easy. Again, how often do we do this? 

Complete Jewish Bible...untrustworthy children...don't know about you, but I want to be trusted with the things of God!

Easy to Read...they are like children who won't learn their lessons...again, OUCH! 

God's Word...children who can't be trusted...I want my earthly mother and father to be able to trust me. Wouldn't I, so much more so, want my Creator, Father, Daddy, Abba to trust me?

Cross References...

Deuteronomy 1:32 In spite of this, you did not TRUST in The Lord your God.

In spite of what? In spite of God saying "I will give to you a land flowing with milk and honey." I will GIVE it to you. Instead, they sent out twelve spies and only two of them trusted God at His word and said, "we can do this, let's go!" Because they didn't trust God to give them the land, that generation never entered into the promised land. What is your promised land and what is holding you back from entering into it?

Psalm 106:24 Then they despised the pleasant land; they did not BELIEVE His promise. 

I encourage you to go back and read this entire Psalm. This Psalm takes you through the entire story, from the exodus of Egypt, being in the desert, entering the promised land, and then being scattered among the nations. How many times have we gotten what we so desired from God and then, suddenly, it just wasn't good enough? We started to despise the pleasant land.

Numbers 14:11 The Lord said to Moses, "How long will these people treat Me with contempt? How long will they refuse to BELIEVE in Me, in spite of all the signs I have performed among them?

This is an interesting verse to me. God is asking Moses, basically holding Moses accoutable for the people's faith, "How long?" If I were Moses I think I would have said..."I don't know, ask them!" Surely Moses was just as frustrated with these people as God. BUT! In verse 17-19 Moses stands in the gap for Israel. 

17 "Now may the Lord's strength be displayed, just as you have declared: 18 'The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet He does not leave the guilty unpunished; He punishes the children for the sin of the fathers tothe third and fourth generation.' 19 In accordance with Your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now."

   

This section of scripture goes on to say that God forgives them, however, because of their unbelief, those that came out of Egypt and saw the signs and wonders that God performed, NEVER entered the promised land. Of the adults, only Caleb and Joshua got to enter the promised land...the reason...THEY BELIEVED GOD!!

Hebrews 3:18-19 And to whom did God swear that they would never enter His rest is not to those who disobeyed? So we see they were not able to enter, because of their UNBELIEF.

Go back and read Hebrews 3, starting with verse 7. When there's no faith in God, our hearts harden which leads to sin and rebellion. I don't know about you but I don't want a hard heart. I want a heart that has faith in God, even in the fire and the trials!

Psalm 78:22 for they did not BELIEVE in God or TRUST His deliverance.

There are over 100 scriptures with the word faith in them. My goal is to study each one and share with you my thoughts. May our faith in our Father grow more and more during this time! Be blessed and don't forget to leave a comment!